Victorious Widowhood: Hope

In my heart, I have always desired the traditional roles of husband and wife in my life. It’s probably because, as a child of divorce, I had experienced so much turmoil and confusion through the multiple marriages and divorces of my custodial parent, all of which happened before I was 16 years old. I wanted to get married and stay married, learn to work things out or figure out how to live with them broken while praying for things to improve. Tom and I faced many challenges in our marriage, and we overcame many of them, including financial challenges through his multiple lay-offs. We did it together, not always as a team pulling in the same harness, but by God’s grace in the end, we came out on the prospering side by following wisdom.

Right along with everyone else, my bills increased drastically this year, and I felt some of that unction to overcome the financial challenge start to kick in. The sticker shock of insurance payments this year was felt by so many, me included! Unfortunately, my income did not increase at the same pace. Sound familiar?

In years past, Tom and I handled these challenges together, economizing where we could, and increasing our income intentionally to stay a step ahead of the inflation. Somehow, it’s different when you have a partner, because as a team, you can shoulder the burden of this type of challenge together. But as a new widow, I have not always adjusted appropriately to respond biblically to the money challenges that we are all facing.

I realized this week when pondering this problem, that I was unconsciously taking on the role of husband. And while I was and am praying about the increased costs of living today, I was not truly leaning into the truth that God has promised to be “a husband to the husbandless and a father to the fatherless.” I was praying, but not trusting. I was asking, but not looking to Him to answer, because there is a part we all must play.

Faith without works is dead, so there is a “works part” of believing, an action that aligns with faith that produces results. For me, that action was listening for guidance and then obeying the directions given. It was about shifting my heart back to the position of being a woman with a loving husband who takes care of her. I quickly committed to put myself back under His care concerning the increase in income that is needed to meet the challenge.

God was not disappointed in me. He did not and does not condemn me. He sees me through the blood!! He remembers that we are dust, and in that recognition of our frailty, He intervenes with His wonderful hesed, the obligatory love that comes from being in covenant. He has obligated Himself to His covenant people, promising to keep His word no matter what it costs Him, even to laying down His Son as a payment for our sins and shortcomings. Praise God for His great love wherewith He loved us!

So, this week, during my meditation time, the Holy Spirit clearly reminded me that I am not the husband, and I do NOT have the empowerment or anointing to be the husband in my household. He invited and even encouraged my heart to step back into the role of wife, cherished and protected by her husband, provided for and cared for by a loving Covenant Partner who wants the very best life for me, a life filled with joy, hope, peace and dignity.

Although it was confirmed to me over and over again for the last 6 weeks, I haven’t shared since Rosh Hashanah 5785, the Jewish new year we just entered, that my word for the year is hope. 🙌

I was thrilled to get this revelation because for me, 5784 the year that just ended, was guided by the word “expectation”. God encouraged me throughout the year to learn to look with positive expectation at what He was doing in my life and in the earth. And “hope” carries on that theme in a marvelous way.

Hope is the highest degree of well founded expectation. That’s shouting ground, friends. 🎉🎉🎉

I have well founded expectation for good in my life in this new year. I have hope for the future of my community and my nation, and the world. I have hope that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. I have hope that He will instruct me and guide me along the best pathway for my life! I have hope that He will advise me and watch my progress to make sure that I am on track. I have hope that my future is as bright as God can make it, full of His good plans and good works that I can walk in. I have hope that the brokenness in my life will be mended, that relationships will be restored, and that days of refreshing will come for me. I have hope that the prayers I have been praying will manifest in transformational answers. I have hope.

I think sometimes that we loose the significance of a word because of it’s common usage, so let’s read those statements again with a little more understanding, shall we?

I have well founded expectation for good in my life in this new year. I have the highest degree of well founded expectation for the future of my community and my nation, and the world. Jeremiah 29:11

I have the highest degree of well founded expectation and remain confident that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Psalm 27:13

I have the highest degree of well founded expectation that He will instruct me and guide me along the best pathway for my life! I have the highest degree of well founded expectation that He will advise me and watch my progress to make sure that I am on track. Psalm 32:8

I have the highest degree of well founded expectation that my future is as bright as God can make it, full of His good plans and good works that I can walk in. Ephesians 2:10

I have the highest degree of well founded expectation that the brokenness in my life will be mended, that relationships will be restored, and that days of refreshing will come for me.
Jeremiah 31:16

I have the highest degree of well founded expectation that the prayers I have been praying will manifest in transformational answers. Matthew 7:7

I have the highest degree of well founded expectation because I have heard the gentle Shepherd leading me to it, like a sheep being led to the green pastures and still waters that restores the soul. Psalm 23

And I pray you, too can embrace hope for this good future as well. It’s been laid out before us, like the promised land, but we must enter in by pointing our hearts in His direction, and forsaking the doom the world has to offer.

I leave you with one last truth, that Philippians 4:19 is still true, and you can place your highest degree of well founded expectation on it: And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Love in Him,

Tammy